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queen mary hospital changes mpa

queen mary hospital changes mpa VPMj6
The given maps illustrate the information of changes that took place in Queen Mary Hospital in given time period 190, 1980 to 2000. A cursory glance at the graph is adequate enough to show that in 1960, we can see the four rectangular section sas shopping centre was on the North-west side nearby the Queen Mary Hospital. Moreover in the East-south side there was a car paring fron to fhte farmland. However, in 1980 nursing school was build on the site of farmland. Apart from this, shopping centre divided into two parts one was cancer centre and another was pharmacy in 1980, but hospital, car park and main road still at the same position. Further analyzing the map in 2000 Nursing centre has merged in Cancer centre and nursing centre has been shifted in car parking which dividied into two parts, but no changes can be seen in hospital and pharmacy. Overall, new development can be seen after 190
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
maps illustrate the information of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that took place in Queen Mary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period 190, 1980 to 2000. A cursory glance at the graph is adequate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that in 1960, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the four rectangular section
Possible spelling mistake found.
sas shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
was on the North-west side nearby the Queen Mary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hospital
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
in the East-south side there was a car paring
Possible spelling mistake found.
fron
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fhte
farmland.
However
, in 1980 nursing school was build on the site of farmland. Apart from this, shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
divided into two parts one was cancer
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and another was pharmacy in 1980,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
, car park and main road
still
at the same position.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
analyzing the map in 2000 Nursing
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
has merged in Cancer
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and nursing
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
has
been shifted
in car parking which
Possible spelling mistake found.
dividied
into two parts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
and pharmacy.
Overall
, new development can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
after 190
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IELTS academic queen mary hospital changes mpa

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
158 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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