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The graph displays the number of multinational visitors come to give nations, containing Brazil,Egypt,Malaysia,France and the USA between 1995 and 2000

The graph displays the number of multinational visitors come to give nations, containing Brazil, Egypt, Malaysia, France and the USA between 1995 and 2000 d3kEE
In general, it is remarkable that the USA and France were the most popular countries during this period and the number of tourists in most nations rose over time. In 1995, the USA was ranked the first with 70 million visitors and France was in second place with 30 million. Over the period from 2000 to 2005, France experienced a dramatic upward trend with more than 60 million international tourists while the figure of the USA increased slowly. The result was the in 2010, both countries had a same quantity of multinational visitors at about 90 million each. The number of tourists visiting Malaysia improved steadily from 1995 to 2010 but still lightly under 50 million. Both Brazil and Egypt were visited by nearly 10 million visitors at the start of the period. However, over a ten-year period between 2000 and 2010, Egypt saw such a better growth than Brazil, about 20 million and 15 million respectively.
In general
, it is remarkable that the USA and France were the most popular countries during this
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period
and the number of tourists in most nations rose over time. In 1995, the USA
was ranked
the
first
with 70
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million
visitors and France was in second place with 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. Over the
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period
from 2000 to 2005, France experienced a dramatic upward trend with more than 60
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million
international tourists while the figure of the USA increased
slowly
. The result was the in 2010, both countries had a same quantity of multinational visitors at about 90
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million
each. The number of tourists visiting Malaysia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
steadily
from 1995 to 2010
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
lightly
under 50
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million
. Both Brazil and Egypt
were visited
by
nearly
10
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million
visitors at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
However
, over a ten-year
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period
between 2000 and 2010, Egypt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
such a better growth than Brazil, about 20
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million
and 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The graph displays the number of multinational visitors come to give nations, containing Brazil, Egypt, Malaysia, France and the USA between 1995 and 2000

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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