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The diagrams shed light on the considerable alterations that have taken place in an university department over a 5-year period starting from 2000.

The diagrams shed light on the considerable alterations that have taken place in an university department over a 5-year period starting from 2000. XyEkr
The diagrams shed light on the considerable alterations that have taken place in a university department over a 5-year period starting from 2000. As is demonstrated from the diagrams, the years surveyed witnessed the dramatic modernization with the birth of a car park and IT center as well as the erection of more seminar rooms. In 2000, three seminar rooms in the westnorth were separated by a corridor with 2 rooms in a left side and the other in the right one. Additionally, a library and an office were respectively erected next to the right seminar room. Those were layed out in a vertical line. It is also recorded that the main entrance that connected the buildings and the intersection was built in the center of the university department. In the next five years, the area of seminar was extended with two more novel rooms built in the up north. Noticeably, the library was relocated to the east near the IT center. They were on the site where there used to be many trees. One more disparity worth mentioning is the construction of a car park next to the main entrance in the east.
The diagrams shed light on the considerable alterations that have taken place in a university department over a 5-year period starting from 2000.

As
is demonstrated
from the diagrams, the years surveyed witnessed the dramatic modernization with the birth of a car park and IT center
as well
as the erection of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
rooms.

In 2000, three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
westnorth
were separated
by a corridor with 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side and the other in the right one.
Additionally
, a library and an office were
respectively
erected
next
to the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
. Those were
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "laid", the past tense form of the verb 'lay'?
layed
out in a vertical line. It is
also
recorded that the main entrance that connected the buildings and the intersection
was built
in the center of the university department.

In the
next
five years, the area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
was extended
with two more novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
built in the up north.
Noticeably
, the library
was relocated
to the east near the IT center. They were on the site where there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
trees. One more disparity worth mentioning is the construction of a car park
next
to the main entrance in the east.

IELTS academic The diagrams shed light on the considerable alterations that have taken place in an university department over a 5-year period starting from 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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