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The graph compares the percentage of theinternational and the percentage of UK student gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK university

The graph compares the percentage of theinternational and the percentage of UK student gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK university B6rp
The graph of 2009 year illustrates the percentage and comparison for international and UK students gaining second class degrees or greater at a major UK university. It can be seen that curiosity for International undergraduates differ from UK students, One reason for this could be cultural variation. Statistics can be divided into three groups: technologies, Human Studying and Multidisciplinary fields. For Technologies, It is clear from the chart that degree for International students was indeed higher such as 85% gained a degree, as for UK students this percentage stands for 55%. Second field Involving Human Studying, for instance Art History. It is considerable that 80% of UK undergraduates obtained degree, for Internationals result is relatively low such as 55%. In contrast to those fields, multidisciplinary out-turns were quiet imposing, for the nursing and accountancy outcome was entirely similar such as 50/50 and 60/60 percent. The main conclusion to be drawn from this study is that both of undergraduates successfully obtained their degrees but their strong traits differ in subjects.
The graph of 2009 year illustrates the percentage and comparison for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
and UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gaining second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
or greater at a major UK university.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that curiosity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
undergraduates differ from UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, One reason for this could be cultural variation.

Statistics can
be divided
into three groups: technologies, Human Studying and Multidisciplinary fields.

For Technologies, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the chart that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was
indeed
higher such as 85% gained a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, as for UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
this percentage stands for 55%.

Second field Involving Human Studying,
for instance
Art History. It is considerable that 80% of UK undergraduates obtained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, for Internationals result is
relatively
low such as 55%.

In contrast
to those fields, multidisciplinary out-turns were
Did you mean "quite"? 'quiet' means 'silent', 'quite' mean 'very' or 'to a moderate extent'
quiet
imposing, for the nursing and accountancy outcome was
entirely
similar such as 50/50 and 60/60 percent.

The main conclusion to
be drawn
from this study is that both of undergraduates
successfully
obtained their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their strong traits differ in subjects.

IELTS academic The graph compares the percentage of theinternational and the percentage of UK student gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK university

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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