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The given bar chart compares the yearly quantity of rentals and sales of film from a specific store from 2002 to 2011.

The given bar chart compares the yearly quantity of rentals and sales of film from a specific store from 2002 to 2011. 5J1B
The given bar chart compares the yearly quantity of rentals and sales of film from a specific store from 2002 to 2011. Overall, it can be seen that while rentals and VHS sales followed downward trends, Blu-ray sales illustrated upward trends. Another notable feature is that DVD sales experienced some fluctuations throughout the term in the question. In detail, in 2002, rentals stood at around 180, 000, followed by a gradual dip in the remaining years to finish at just over 50, 000 in 2011. On the other hand, Blu-ray sales witnessed a steady climb from nearly zero, which was the least total, to approximately 6, 000 (2007-2011). Next, there was a rapid slid in the VHS sales roughly from 80, 000 to 6, 000 in three years time (2002-2005). In contrast, there was a different pattern for DVD sales. Beginning at just under 50, 000 in 2002, there was a rapid swell in the subsequent years until 2000, where it hit a peak at about 205, 000. Despite reaching a top, the successive years saw a progressive drop to relatively 180, 000 in the end of the period.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart compares the yearly quantity of rentals and
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sales
of film from a specific store from 2002 to 2011.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that while rentals and VHS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
followed downward trends, Blu-ray
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sales
illustrated upward trends. Another notable feature is that DVD
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sales
experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations throughout the term in the question.

In detail, in 2002, rentals stood at around 180, 000, followed by a gradual dip in the remaining years to finish at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 50, 000 in 2011.
On the other hand
, Blu-ray
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
witnessed a steady climb from
nearly
zero, which was the least total, to approximately 6, 000 (2007-2011).
Next
, there was a rapid slid in the VHS
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sales
roughly from 80, 000 to 6, 000 in three years time (2002-2005).

In contrast
, there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pattern for DVD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
. Beginning at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 50, 000 in 2002, there was a rapid swell in the subsequent years until 2000, where it hit a peak at about 205, 000. Despite reaching a top, the successive years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a progressive drop to
relatively
180, 000 in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic The given bar chart compares the yearly quantity of rentals and sales of film from a specific store from 2002 to 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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