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The graph compares the participation of Australian boys and girls in various sports outside school hours in 2014

The graph compares the participation of Australian boys and girls in various sports outside school hours in 2014 x8wXN
The graph compares the participation of Australian boys and girls in various sports outside school hours in 2014. Overall, it is clear that, the majority of boys football sports in 2014, while, girls choose netball sports this year. According to the graph, almost 20% of boys participate in football sports outside the school hours and only 2% take partin netball sports. In contrast, a very high percentage of girls attend to netball sports with approximately 20% and the least proportion of girls take part in football sports with around 5%. It is interesting that, only 5% of children did not participate in any sports. In terms of swimming, girls were more attend than boys at around 16% and 13% respectively. In basketball sports, with around 8% of boys attend and girls were take part in around 7%.
The graph compares the participation of Australian
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boys
and
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girls
in various
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sports
outside school hours in 2014.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in 2014, while,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
choose netball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
this year.

According to the graph, almost 20% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
participate in football
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sports
outside the school hours and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% take
Possible spelling mistake found.
partin
netball
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sports
.
In contrast
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high percentage of
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girls
attend to netball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
with approximately 20% and the least proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
5%. It is interesting that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% of children did not participate in any sports.

In terms of swimming,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were more attend than
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boys
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
16% and 13%
respectively
. In basketball
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sports
, with
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around
8% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
attend and
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girls
were
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
take
part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
7%.

IELTS academic The graph compares the participation of Australian boys and girls in various sports outside school hours in 2014

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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