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The bar chart below gives information about the the average weight of men in kilograms in several different countries.

The bar chart below gives information about the the average weight of men in kilograms in several different countries. YwWoj
The average of weight between man come from various countries around the world, such as Australia, USA, Canada and so forth, is represented by the chart. Generally, the highest average weight belongs to the USA and Brazil takes the lowest. Firstly, there is a similarity between Australia and Canada where men have the same weight of 82 kilograms. In contrast, the USA stands at the highest with 88 kilograms, while Brazil only takes 74 kilograms, the lowest of all. Finally, Germany men are 80 kilograms in weight. Comparing the USA to Australia and Germany, we can confirm that there are differences exist between them. The man in USA weight more than Australia men 6 kilograms, while Germany is less than 8 kilograms.
The average of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from various countries around the world, such as Australia, USA, Canada and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth,
is represented
by the chart.
Generally
, the highest average
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weight
belongs to the USA and Brazil takes the lowest.
Firstly
, there is a similarity between Australia and Canada where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have the same
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weight
of 82 kilograms.
In contrast
, the USA stands at the highest with 88 kilograms, while Brazil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
takes 74 kilograms, the lowest of all.
Finally
, Germany
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are 80 kilograms in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
. Comparing the USA to Australia and Germany, we can confirm that there are differences exist between them. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in USA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
more than Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
6 kilograms, while Germany is less than 8 kilograms.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below gives information about the the average weight of men in kilograms in several different countries.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
122 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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