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The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999 eGmp
The supplied graph compares the unemployment quantities into developed countries, namely the USA and Japan from March 1993 to March 1999. Overall, it can be seen that rates of an employment decreased in the USA, meanwhile this figure increased noticeably in the Japan by the time. In the first year (March 1993) the number of people without employment in the USA was 7 percent, however Japan revealed 2. 5% in total. There were marked fluctuations till the middle of 1995, also a decline to 6%. The figure of unemployment went up until March 96 to almost 4. 5% in Japan. In March 1997 the US unemployment rate demonstrated a reduction to 5%, in this year Japan experiences the small growth (4. 5% approximately). Percentage of unemployment in the USA and Japan gave almost the same quantity in 1998. The former showed 5%, the letter 4, 5% again. In March 99 the US and Japan maintained the same level of unemployment by 5%, totally for each country.
The supplied graph compares the
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unemployment
quantities into
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developed countries
,
namely
the USA and
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Japan
from March 1993 to March 1999.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that rates of an employment decreased in the USA, meanwhile this figure increased
noticeably
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
by the time. In the
first
year (March 1993) the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
without employment in the USA was 7 percent,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
revealed 2. 5% in total. There
were marked
fluctuations till the middle of 1995,
also
a decline to 6%. The figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
went up until March 96 to almost 4. 5% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. In March 1997 the US
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
rate demonstrated a reduction to 5%, in this year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
experiences the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
growth (4. 5% approximately). Percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
in the USA and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
gave almost the same quantity in 1998. The former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
5%, the letter 4, 5% again. In March 99 the US and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
maintained the same level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
by 5%,
totally
for each country.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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