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The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Ajpon
The provided line graph illustrates the percentage of people who did not have a job in the United States Of America and Japan in period of six years, from March 1993 to March 1999. Overall, it has been seen that rate of unemployment in America had been decreased in this time period; on the other hand, in Japan, it had been increased. To begin with, in the USA, amount of work-less people was 7% in March 1993; whereas, at the same time, it was only 2. 4% in Japan which was significant lower than America. After March 1993, rate of unemployment fell noticeable till March 1995 and reached to merely under 5. 5%. In next one year, proportion remained constant; however, after that year, it gradually declined till approximately 4. 1% in March 1999. On the contrary, proportion of job-less persons in Japan rose after March 1993 till March 1996 and climbed to 3. 5%. In between March 1996 and March 1998, it stayed similar despite of having some fluctuations. In following year, it dramatically inclined and peaked to around 4. 6%.
The provided line graph illustrates the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who did not have a job in the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
United States Of America
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
in period of six years, from March 1993 to March 1999.

Overall
, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that rate of unemployment in America had
been decreased
in this time period;
on the other hand
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, it had
been increased
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in the USA, amount of work-less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
was 7% in March 1993; whereas, at the same time, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2. 4% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
which was significant lower than America. After March 1993, rate of unemployment fell noticeable till March 1995 and reached to
merely
under 5. 5%. In
next
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, proportion remained constant;
however
, after that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, it
gradually
declined till approximately 4. 1% in March 1999.

On the contrary
, proportion of job-less persons in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
rose after March 1993 till March 1996 and climbed to 3. 5%. In between March 1996 and March 1998, it stayed similar
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations. In following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, it
dramatically
inclined and peaked to around 4. 6%.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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