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The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.

The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010. g5D7a
The first line chart depicts information about steel production and demand in the UK in 2010 while second one reveals the employee number in the steel industry in same year period. Looking from overall perspective, it is apparent that, the production of steel was higher than the demand through the year except in December and highest number of workers was employed in this industry at the beginning of the year. According to the first graph, the UK produced 400 millions tons steel in the January and that time the demand was equal to the half of the production. Meanwhile, number of worker peaked but(5000), from there the trend fell drammalically to 3000 in March. After first quater the production and need for steel remained almost the same. However during this period, the employee numbers showed some flactuation and in August, the UK steel industy epmloyeed around 3. 5 millions workers
The
first
line chart depicts information about
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steel
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production
and demand in the UK in 2010 while second one reveals the employee
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number
in the
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steel
industry in same year period.

Looking from
overall
perspective, it is apparent that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steel
was higher than the demand through the year except in December and highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of workers
was employed
in this industry at the beginning of the year.

According to the
first
graph, the UK produced 400 millions tons
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steel
in the January and that time the demand was equal to the half of the
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production
. Meanwhile,
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number
of worker peaked
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but
(5000), from there the trend fell
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drammalically
to 3000 in March. After
first
Possible spelling mistake found.
quater
the
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production
and need for
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steel
remained almost the same.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
during this period, the employee
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numbers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
flactuation
and in August, the UK
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steel
Possible spelling mistake found.
industy
Possible spelling mistake found.
epmloyeed
around 3. 5 millions workers
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IELTS academic The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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