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The graph below shows the quarterly sales figures of Woodward chocolate bars for 2010.

The bar graph illustrates that how many woodward chocolate bars ( in millions) four quarters of four different types Woodward bars; wuzzle bar, woody bar, wachi bar, wozic bar in the year of 2010 As an overall trend, astonishing sold of wachi bar in the first quarter of the year; however, In the fourth quarter of the year wachi bar was less sold. Wuzzle bar, was sold chocolates in the second quarter in the year ( 19 millions). Wachi bar chocolates people were buying in first and second quarter, 55 millions and 21 millions respectively. Wozic bar 10 millions less sold in third quarter than second quarter. Wuzzle bar chocolates were sold doubled in third quarter than fourth quarter ( 20 millions). Woody bar were sold as 10 millions difference as each quarter. Wachi bar chocolates in third and fourth quarter and wozic bar chocolates in first and fourth quarter were sold as same 10 millions for the former and 35 millions for the latter.
The bar graph illustrates that how
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many
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woodward
chocolate bars
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(
in
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millions)
four
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quarters
of four
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different
types Woodward bars;
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wuzzle
bar, woody bar,
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wachi
bar,
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wozic
bar in the
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year
of 2010 As an
overall
trend, astonishing sold of
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wachi
bar in the
first
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quarter
of the
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year
;
however
, In the
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fourth
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quarter
of the
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year
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wachi
bar was less sold.
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Wuzzle
bar,
was sold
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chocolates
in the second
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quarter
in the
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year
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(
19
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millions)
.
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Wachi
bar
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chocolates
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people
were buying in
first
and second
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quarter
, 55
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millions
and 21
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millions
respectively
.
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Wozic
bar 10
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millions
less sold in third
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quarter
than second
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quarter
.
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Wuzzle
bar
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chocolates
were sold
doubled in third
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quarter
than
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fourth
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quarter
Don’t put a space after the opening parenthesis.
(
20
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millions)
. Woody bar
were sold
as 10
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millions
difference as each
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quarter
.
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Wachi
bar
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chocolates
in third and
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fourth
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quarter
and
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wozic
bar
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chocolates
in
first
and
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fourth
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quarter
were sold
as same 10
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millions
for the former and 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
for the latter.

IELTS academic The graph below shows the quarterly sales figures of Woodward chocolate bars for 2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
165 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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