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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph indicates the percentage of population age 65 and over from Japan. Sweden and USA between 1940 and 2040. Overall, Japan experienced to be 5 percent in 1940 but it peaked up to 25 percent in 2040 whereas USA and Sweden were less by 2 to 5 percent in the end of century. Firstly, Japan begins with 5 percent and sightly decrease by 2 percent. From 1960 to 1990, percentage remain constant. Consequently, it rocketed up to 28 percent in 2040. Again, it intersected with Sweden and USA in 2030. Secondly, Sweden started with 7 percent and it went up percentage meet with USA in 1995. However, it rocketed up to 25 percent in 2040. In addition, USA was 9 percent in 1940 where it rose up to 15 percent then gently plunged by 1 percentage in 2020. Again, it smartly increased up 27 percent at the end of century.
The graph indicates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of population age 65 and over from Japan. Sweden and USA between 1940 and 2040.

Overall
, Japan experienced to be 5
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percent
in 1940
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it peaked up to 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2040 whereas USA and Sweden were less by 2 to 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of century.

Firstly
, Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with 5
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percent
and
sightly
decrease by 2
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percent
. From 1960 to 1990,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
remain constant.
Consequently
, it rocketed up to 28
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2040. Again, it intersected with Sweden and USA in 2030.

Secondly
, Sweden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with 7
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percent
and it went up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
A determiner is probably missing here: "with the USA".
with USA
in 1995.
However
, it rocketed up to 25
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percent
in 2040.
In addition
, USA was 9
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percent
in 1940 where it rose up to 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
then
gently
plunged by 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
in 2020. Again, it
smartly
increased up 27
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of century.

IELTS academic The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.