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The graph below shows the popularity of social networking sites compared to two Internet search engines in the USA from January 2004 to June 2006

The graph below shows the popularity of social networking sites compared to two Internet search engines in the USA from January 2004 to June 2006 r173n
The line graph provides the number of visitors who access Yahoo and Google in comparison with the top 10 social networking sites (SNSs) in the USA from January 2004 to June 2006. As can be seen from the graph, Yahoo was the most widely used throughout the period, and Google was the second most accessed website. In addition, SNSs experienced the most dramatic growth. At the start of the period, the figures showed noticeable differences between the three sites, as Yahoo and Google received around 105 million and 65 million visitors per day (MVPD) respectively, while the data of SNSs was lower, at roughly 40 MVPD. Thereafter, the SNSs remained relatively stable until January 05, after which they saw a more significant rise, doubling over the next year, and ended up the period at just over 80 MVPD. With regard to Yahoo and Google, both went up in terms of visitor numbers. Although the increase of the former was rather slight as it just climbed to under 120 MVPD, the latter's upward trend was more rapid, standing a little above 110 MVPD in the final year
The line graph provides the number of visitors who access Yahoo and Google
in comparison
with the top 10 social networking sites (
Possible spelling mistake found.
SNSs
) in the USA from January 2004 to June 2006.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph, Yahoo was the most
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
throughout the period, and Google was the second most accessed website.
In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
SNSs
experienced the most dramatic growth.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the period, the figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
noticeable differences between the three sites, as Yahoo and Google received around 105 million and 65 million visitors per day (
Possible spelling mistake found.
MVPD
)
respectively
, while the data of
Possible spelling mistake found.
SNSs
was lower, at roughly 40
Possible spelling mistake found.
MVPD
. Thereafter, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
SNSs
remained
relatively
stable until January 05, after which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a more significant rise, doubling over the
next
year, and ended up the period at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 80
Possible spelling mistake found.
MVPD
.

With regard to Yahoo and Google, both went up in terms of visitor numbers. Although the increase of the former was
rather
slight as it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
climbed to under 120
Possible spelling mistake found.
MVPD
, the latter's upward trend was more rapid, standing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
above 110
Possible spelling mistake found.
MVPD
in the final
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
year
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the popularity of social networking sites compared to two Internet search engines in the USA from January 2004 to June 2006

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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