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the graph below shows the persentage of visitors going to tourist attractions from 1980 to 2010. 1980 to 2010

the graph below shows the persentage of visitors going to tourist attractions from 1980 to 2010. 1980 to 2010 XqlVA
The line graph shows the percentage of tourist visited Brighton attraction in England from 1980 to 2010. Overall, the figure for tourist visited brighton destination in Britain saw fluctuated steadly. The Pavilion attractions was the highest, replacing the art gallery was lowest in the end of years. To begin, In 1980, the percentage of tourist visited pier attraction stood at 10%, 1980 TO 2000 saw a fluctuation in the pier visited and reach a peak at 22% in 2010. Which was followed by pavilion attraction a sharp rise around 48% in 1995 However over the following three years, there was gradual fall to 31% in 2010. Contrasting this, the percentage of tourist came Festival attractions, in the early of year was the highest around 30% and it saw fell gradually around 25% in 1995 further steady increase and reach a peak 25% in 2010. And the last the percentage of tourist visited Art gallery, there was declined sharply from 1980 to 2010 at 8%.
The line graph
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shows
the
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percentage
of
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tourist
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visited
Brighton
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attraction
in England from 1980 to 2010.

Overall
, the figure for
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tourist
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visited
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brighton
destination in Britain
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saw
fluctuated
Possible spelling mistake found.
steadly
. The Pavilion
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attractions
was the highest, replacing the art gallery was lowest in the
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end
of years.

To
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begin
, In 1980, the
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percentage
of
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tourist
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visited
pier
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attraction
stood at 10%, 1980 TO 2000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a fluctuation in the pier
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visited
and reach a peak at 22% in 2010. Which
was followed
by pavilion
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attraction
a sharp rise around 48% in 1995
However
over the following three years, there was gradual fall to 31% in 2010.

Contrasting this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
came Festival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
, in
The phrase 'the early of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the early of
year was the highest around 30% and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
fell
gradually
around 25% in 1995
further
steady increase and reach a peak 25% in 2010. And the last the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
Art gallery, there
was declined
sharply
from 1980 to 2010 at 8%.

IELTS academic the graph below shows the persentage of visitors going to tourist attractions from 1980 to 2010. 1980 to 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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