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The chart below shows the main reasons for study among students of different age groups

The chart below shows the main reasons for study among students of different age groups XqlDN
The information regarding the major factors for study among scholars of varying age groups is assigned by the bar chart. I am overview, it is crystal clear that although the learners of all age groups choose to study for career yet the last age group’s mentees persue study for interest. Having a myopic outlook, it is apparent that with regards to career selection, the percentum of tutees who are willing to study under the age of 26 is 80, whereas it is half in case of learners with age 40-49. Further, discrepancy of about 12% can be noticed between the ratios of mentees of ages 26-29 and 30-39. The respective figures are 70 and 58 orderly. The percentile of scholars who are over 49 is two fold less than the learners of age between. 40-49, it is 20and 40 correspondingly. Moving further, it can be clearly seen that 10% of students under 26 wants to study for interest. Meanwhile, this proportion goes on increasing along with the following age groups and the highest ratio is of the last given learners who choose to study for interest.
The information regarding the major factors for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
among scholars of varying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
is assigned
by the bar chart. I am overview, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for career
yet
the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group’s
mentees
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for interest. Having a myopic outlook, it is apparent that
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
career selection, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentum
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tutees
who are willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 26 is 80, whereas it is half in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
40-49.
Further
, discrepancy of about 12% can
be noticed
between the ratios of mentees of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
26-29 and 30-39. The respective figures are 70 and 58 orderly. The percentile of scholars who are over 49 is
The adjective or adverb 'twofold' needs to be written as one word.
two fold
less than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
between. 40-49, it is 20and 40
correspondingly
.

Moving
further
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that 10% of students under 26 wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for interest. Meanwhile, this proportion goes on increasing along with the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
and the highest ratio is of the last
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
who choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for interest.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the main reasons for study among students of different age groups

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
186 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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