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the graph below shows the percentage pf people unemployed in the total labour workforce across 9 countries in 1994 and 2004

the graph below shows the percentage pf people unemployed in the total labour workforce across 9 countries in 1994 and 2004 GJMaB
The chart compares the proportion of jobless people in 9 countries, namely Ireland, Poland, Italy, Canada, The UK, Germany, The USA, Australia, and Japan, during 10 years from 1994 to 2004. Overall, all countries have a rate change after 10 years and all had rates below 10% in 2004 except Poland. As can be seen from the table, It is surprising that in 1994, Ireland ranked first in the unemployment rate with more than 14. 8%, but after 10 years, this rate has decreased to only 4. 4% and is excellently becoming the country with the lowest unemployment rate. Some countries have slightly decreased rates such as Italy, Canada, and The USA, namely from 11. 8% to 8. 4%, 10. 6% to 7. 7%, and 7. 2% to 5. 4% respectively. In addition, The UK decline sharply from 9. 5% to only 4. 7% in 2004. On the contrary, there are some countries that tend to increase the unemployment rate. Among the 9 countries, Poland grow significantly from 12. 4% in 1994 to 19%, holding the top position in the unemployment rate table in 2004. The remaining countries also had relatively high growth such as Germany increased from 7% to 9. 4%, Australia increased from 5% to 5. 4%, Japan increased from 2. 7% to 4. 7%. Although Australia and Japan have increased rates, compared to other countries, the number of unemployed people in these two countries is still quite low.
The chart compares the proportion of jobless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 9
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countries
,
namely
Ireland, Poland, Italy, Canada, The UK, Germany, The USA, Australia, and Japan, during 10 years from 1994 to 2004.

Overall
, all
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countries
have a
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rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
after 10 years and all had
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rates
below 10% in 2004 except Poland.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the table, It is surprising that in 1994, Ireland ranked
first
in the
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unemployment
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rate
with more than 14. 8%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after 10 years, this
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rate
has decreased to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4. 4% and is
excellently
becoming the
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country
with the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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countries
have
slightly
decreased
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rates
such as Italy, Canada, and The USA,
namely
from 11. 8% to 8. 4%, 10. 6% to 7. 7%, and 7. 2% to 5. 4%
respectively
.
In addition
, The UK decline
sharply
from 9. 5% to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4. 7% in 2004.

On the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that tend to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. Among the 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, Poland grow
significantly
from 12. 4% in 1994 to 19%, holding the top position in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
table in 2004. The remaining
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countries
also
had
relatively
high growth such as Germany
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increased
from 7% to 9. 4%, Australia
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increased
from 5% to 5. 4%, Japan
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increased
from 2. 7% to 4. 7%. Although Australia and Japan have
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increased
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rates
, compared to other
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countries
, the number of unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in these two
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countries
is
still
quite low.
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the percentage pf people unemployed in the total labour workforce across 9 countries in 1994 and 2004

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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