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The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph depicts the information about the people who were going to theatre of one country on various days of a week.   Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that almost half the number of people of a european country went to the cinema on Saturday in all the years whereas the people were released who went for movies on weekdays. It can be seen that the individuals who went for movies on Monday remained in the range of 10 to 15% in every year while the people on the followed were more in 2003 as compared to the other years. On Wednesday people who went for the entertainment purpose were 16%, 14% and 9% in 2003, 2005 and 2007 respectively. The day after Wednesday more people went to cinema in 2003 nearly 24%. In addition, on Friday the watchers went to the cinema showed the similar pattern at 30% in all the years. In all the three year, largest number of people went for movies were nearly 45% on Saturday and approximately 35% on sunday.
The bar graph depicts the information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were going to
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
of one country on various days of a week.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that almost half the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
european
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to the cinema on Saturday in all the years whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were released
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
for movies on weekdays. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
for movies on Monday remained in the range of 10 to 15% in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the followed were more in 2003 as compared to the other years. On Wednesday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
for the entertainment purpose were 16%, 14% and 9% in 2003, 2005 and 2007
respectively
. The day after Wednesday more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to cinema in 2003
nearly
24%.
In addition
, on Friday the watchers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to the cinema
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the similar pattern at 30% in all the years. In all the three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the largest".
largest
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
for movies were
nearly
45% on Saturday and approximately 35% on
Possible spelling mistake found.
sunday
.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
180 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.