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The graph below shows the percentage of households, grouped by poverty, on the basis of access to refrigerator, electricity and water in Ghana for the year 1991/1992 to 1998/1999.

The bar chart compares the access to facilities such as refrigerator, electricity and water among the very poor, the poor and the non poor in Ghana in 1991-1992 and in 1998-1999. Overall, access to refrigerator, electricity and water increased significantly among the non poor during the period. The percentage of the very poor and the poor who had the facility of refrigerator, electricity and water either decreased or remained almost the same. Only 3% of the very poor had refrigerator in 1991-1992 and it remained the same during 1998-1999. While 11% of the poor had refrigerators during the 1991-92 period, that figure dropped to 7% by 1998-99. As for electricity, 48% of the very poor households had access to it in 1991-92, but only 34% of them enjoyed that facility in 1998-92. The access to electricity among the poor also declined from 57% in 1991-92 to 48% in 1998-99. There was no significant change in the percentage of households with access to water during the given time periods. Meanwhile, among the non poor, the access to refrigerator, electricity and water increased from 1991-92 to 1998-99.
The bar chart compares the
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access
to facilities such as
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refrigerator
,
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electricity
and
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water
among the
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very
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poor
, the
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poor
and the non
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poor
in Ghana in 1991-1992 and in 1998-1999.
Overall
,
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access
to
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refrigerator
,
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electricity
and
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water
increased
significantly
among the non
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poor
during the period. The percentage of the
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very
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poor
and the
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poor
who had the facility of
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refrigerator
,
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electricity
and
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water
either decreased or remained almost the same.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
3% of the
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very
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poor
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refrigerator
in
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
1991-1992 and
it remained the same during 1998-1999. While 11% of the
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poor
had
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refrigerators
during the 1991-92 period, that figure dropped to 7% by 1998-99. As for
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electricity
, 48% of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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poor
households had
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access
to it in 1991-92,
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but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
34% of them enjoyed that facility in 1998-92. The
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access
to
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electricity
among the
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poor
also
declined from 57% in 1991-92 to 48% in 1998-99. There was no significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the percentage of households with
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access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time periods. Meanwhile, among the non
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
, the
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access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refrigerator
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
increased from 1991-92 to 1998-99.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the percentage of households, grouped by poverty, on the basis of access to refrigerator, electricity and water in Ghana for the year 1991/1992 to 1998/1999.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
185 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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