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The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.

The first graph shows that there is a gradual decrease in study for career reasons with age. Nearly 80% of students under 26 years, study for their career. This percentage gradually declines by 10-20% every decade. Only 40% of 40-49yr olds and 18% of over 49yr olds studying for career reasons in late adulthood. Conversely, the first graph also shows that study stemming from interest increases with age. There are only 10% of under 26yr olds studying out of interest. The percentage increases slowly till the beginning of the fourth decade, and increases dramatically in late adulthood. Nearly same number of 40-49yr olds study for career and interest. However 70% of over 49yr olds study for interest in comparison to 18% studying for career reasons in that age group. The second graph shows that employer support is maximum (approximately 60%) for the under 26yr students. It drops rapidly to 32% up to the third decade of life, and then increases in late adulthood up to about 44%. It is unclear whether employer support is only for career-focused study, but the highest level is for those students who mainly study for career purposes.
The
first
graph
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shows
that there is a gradual decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
reasons with age.
Nearly
80% of students under 26 years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for their
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career
. This percentage
gradually
declines by 10-20% every decade.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
40% of 40-49yr olds and 18% of over 49yr olds studying for
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career
reasons in late adulthood.

Conversely
, the
first
graph
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
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study
stemming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
with age. There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of under 26yr olds studying out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
. The percentage
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increases
slowly
till the beginning of the fourth decade, and
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increases
dramatically
in late adulthood.
Nearly
same number of 40-49yr olds
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study
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
70% of over 49yr olds
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study
for
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interest
in comparison
to 18% studying for
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career
reasons in that age group.

The second graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that employer support is maximum (approximately 60%) for the under 26yr students. It drops
rapidly
to 32% up to the third decade of life, and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
in late adulthood up to about 44%. It is unclear whether employer support is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for career-focused
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study
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the highest level is for those students who
mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
purposes.
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IELTS academic The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
192 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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