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The graph below shows the online sales for the different retails sectors in America for the year 2005,2010

The graph below shows the online sales for the different retails sectors in America for the year 2005, 2010 LLXxG
The two pie chart illustrate the proportion of four types of online sales for the different retails sectors in America in 2005 and 2010 Overall it can be seen from the pie chart that in both year, the most significant produced Electronics & Appliance and Food & bever age, Which together for over half the production of the online sales, While video games in 2005 and Home funishigs in 2010 ware the least of amount of online sales in America. In all types of online sales production there ware similar there was only minimal change over the 5 years period Online sales by produced Electronics & Appliance of 35 percent in the first year and it were drop 5 percent to 30% in 5 years later. Likewis, in 2005 video games is 18 percent up to 23% in 5 years later Food & bever age from 22% up to 32% in 2010 and Home funishigs from 25% drop to 15% in 2010
The two pie chart illustrate the proportion of four types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
retails sectors in America in 2005 and 2010

Overall
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the pie chart that in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the most significant produced Electronics & Appliance and Food &
Possible spelling mistake found.
bever
age, Which together for over half the production of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
, While video games in 2005 and Home
Possible spelling mistake found.
funishigs
in 2010 ware the least of amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in America. In all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
production there ware similar there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
minimal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
over the 5 years
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
period


Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
by produced Electronics & Appliance of 35 percent in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and it were
Consider using a past participle here: "dropped".
drop
5 percent to 30% in 5 years later.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Likewis
, in 2005 video games is 18 percent up to 23% in 5 years later

Food &
Possible spelling mistake found.
bever
age from 22% up to 32% in 2010 and Home
Possible spelling mistake found.
funishigs
from 25% drop to 15% in 2010
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the online sales for the different retails sectors in America for the year 2005, 2010

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
161 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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