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In the present age, having accommodation has become a standard demand for people’s lives.

In the present age, having accommodation has become a standard demand for people’s lives. 2KmLx
In the present age, having accommodation has become a standard demand for people’s lives. It is argued that owning a home is more important for people than renting one. In my opinion, I believe that having a home is a natural human desire but it contains risks. On the one hand, there are various compelling reasons why people in modern-day are likely to own a home. Firstly, in some countries, a house is an essential factor to build a family. Once a family owns their own home, their family will have a steady flatform for their life and they are able to follow their purpose without the fear of being homeless. Secondly, another reason is that the cost of accommodation increases over time. If they do not buy a house soon, they may rent for a whole life because of the massive price increase of the rental properties. In some cities, almost all residents are tenants and they can not afford a private house. Nonetheless, home ownership is a negative trend as it forces unrealistic expectations on millions. Most people live in city apartments with rents and are not capable of buying a house. The pressure to buy one is likely to engender feelings of inadequacy and resentment towards the upper classes. Moreover, due to this pressure, wealthy people tend to buy more houses and lead to the growth of real estate. In recent years, citizens having medium income not only can not buy a home but are also facing higher rental payments. As a result, they save more money for purchasing a house and do not invest for their quality of life. In conclusion, owning a home is innately desirable but in the end causes more harm than good due to the pressure it places on individuals. Many people have learned this lesson and home ownership may begin to decline in the future.
In the present age, having accommodation has become a standard demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It
is argued
that owning a home is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than renting one. In my opinion, I believe that having a home is a natural human desire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it contains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

On the one hand, there are various compelling reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in modern-day are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home.
Firstly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is an essential factor to build a family. Once a family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home, their family will have a steady
Possible spelling mistake found.
flatform
for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they are able to follow their purpose without the fear of being homeless.
Secondly
, another reason is that the cost of accommodation increases over time. If they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
, they may rent for a whole life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the massive price increase of the rental properties. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities, almost all residents are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tenants and
they can not afford a private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Nonetheless, home ownership is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend as it forces unrealistic expectations on millions. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in city apartments with rents and are not capable of buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. The pressure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
one is likely to engender feelings of inadequacy and resentment towards the upper classes.
Moreover
, due to this pressure, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
and lead to the growth of real estate. In recent years, citizens having medium income not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are
also
facing higher rental payments.
As a result
, they save more money for purchasing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and do not invest for their quality of life.

In conclusion
, owning a home is
innately
desirable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
causes more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
due to the pressure it places on individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have learned this lesson and home ownership may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to decline in the future.
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IELTS academic In the present age, having accommodation has become a standard demand for people’s lives.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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