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The graph below shows the number of students enrolled in two different schools.

The graph below shows the number of students enrolled in two different schools. EY9b
The line graph gives information about how many pupils enrolled in Riverside School and Litchfield School between 2011 and 2015. Overall, it is clearly seen that there was a moderate decrease in the number of students who enrolled in Riverside school, while the trend of Litchfield School experienced a gradual increase over the given period. To begin, the proportion of pupils who enrolled to Litchfield School stood at just under 1000 in 2001. Subsequently, there was a gradual increase to 1200 in the number of students who enrolled to Litchfield School. Turning to Riverside school, it began with 800 in first year of the graph. Despite increasing slowly to just over 800 in 2012, Riverside school then experienced a sharp decrease to nearly 600 in 2014. In contrast, there was a dramatic increase, rocketing to about 1500 between 2013 and 2014 in the number of pupils who enrolled to Litchfield School. (151 words).
The line graph gives information about how
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many
pupils enrolled in Riverside
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School
and Litchfield
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School
between 2011 and 2015.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there was a moderate decrease in the number of students
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who
enrolled in Riverside
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school
, while the trend of Litchfield
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School
experienced a gradual increase over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the proportion of pupils
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who
enrolled to Litchfield
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School
stood at
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just
under 1000 in 2001.
Subsequently
, there was a gradual increase to 1200 in the number of students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
enrolled to Litchfield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
. Turning to Riverside
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school
, it began with 800 in
first
year of the graph. Despite increasing
slowly
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 800 in 2012, Riverside
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school
then experienced a sharp decrease to
nearly
600 in 2014.

In contrast
, there was a dramatic increase, rocketing to about 1500 between 2013 and 2014 in the number of pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
enrolled to Litchfield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School. (151
words).

IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of students enrolled in two different schools.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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