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the graph below shows the number of male and female students studying IT at university

the graph below shows the number of male and female students studying IT at university G3yKj
The graph depicts the number of teenagers who pursue IT academic studies at university from 1985 to 2015, in terms of their gender. Overall, the total number of female students studying computer science is lesser than the male at the beginning (1985). In 2015, the total number of teenagers studying IT at university was around 30, 000 (in females) to 40, 000 (in males). However, from 2000 to 2005, women tend to study IT academic more than the total men students. Obviously, the total number of boy teenagers has gradually increased from 5, 000 (in 1985) to 40, 000 students (in 2015). However, although girl teenagers have risen from 0 (in 1985) to approximate 32, 000 (in 2010), it has slightly declined to 30, 000 (in 2015). Interestingly, the growing number of total students studying IT at university is because of the development of the modern world.
The graph depicts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
who pursue IT academic studies at university from 1985 to 2015, in terms of their gender.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of female students studying computer science is lesser than the male at the beginning (1985). In 2015, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
studying IT at university was around 30, 000 (in females) to 40, 000 (in males).
However
, from 2000 to 2005, women tend to study IT academic more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
students.

Obviously
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of boy
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teenagers
has
gradually
increased from 5, 000 (in 1985) to 40, 000 students (in 2015).
However
, although girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
have risen from 0 (in 1985) to approximate 32, 000 (in 2010), it has
slightly
declined to 30, 000 (in 2015).

Interestingly
, the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
students studying IT at university is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of the modern world.

IELTS academic the graph below shows the number of male and female students studying IT at university

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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