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The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. kyJn
In my opinion, it is correct that computer can make life more easier. But, if only we know how to operate a computer. And it can be more easier if we use computer for light usage. for example, we want to watching a movie in youtube using the computer. It is a simple thing, right? we only need to make sure the computer was connect to the internet, and then we open the browser, seacrh for youtube, then write the title of movie that we want to watch. It easy to use compute to do something with simple step. But, yeah computer can also become a complex and stressful thing if we do not know how to use it correctly. For example, when we want to make a calculation data by microsoft excel in computer, maybe it is easy to operate for those people who are used to it. But for those who use it for the first time, it could be hard. They need to know about what are the item and it usage in microsoft excel. They need to learn how to use microsoft excel from several books, or with other people who already understand how to use it. So, easy or not to use computer, it depends from how far we know about the computer. Computer is just a device, but people who has created it, so there is no difficult if we know how to master it. And the right way to master it is learn about it.
In my opinion, it is correct that computer can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to operate a computer. And it can be
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer for light usage.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, we want to
Did you mean "watch"?
watching
a movie in
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
using the computer. It is a simple thing, right?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure the computer was
Consider using a past participle here: "connected".
connect
to the internet, and then we open the browser,
Possible spelling mistake found.
seacrh
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
, then write the title of movie that we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
It seems that a verb is missing after "It". Please verify.
It
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
compute to do something with simple step.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, yeah computer can
also
become a complex and stressful thing if we do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
correctly
.
For example
, when we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a calculation data by
Did you mean the proper noun "Microsoft Excel" (= Microsoft product)?
microsoft excel
in computer, maybe it is easy to operate for those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for the
first
time, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. They need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about what are the item and
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it usage
in
Did you mean the proper noun "Microsoft Excel" (= Microsoft product)?
microsoft excel
. They need to learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Did you mean the proper noun "Microsoft Excel" (= Microsoft product)?
microsoft excel
from several books, or with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
already understand how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, easy or not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer, it
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
from how far we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about the computer. Computer is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a device,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
created it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no difficult if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to master it. And the right way to master it is
Consider using a past participle here: "learned", "learnt".
learn
about it.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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