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The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. GB6o
The graphic shows us the number of enquires received by the tourist. It compares the information in particular city during six-period in 2011. According to the line graphic, there are 3 different method that were used by tourist. We can see that the all 3 methods that were used by tourist had a significant increase with in person enquires was the most common choice among 3 option in this six-month period. We can asumme that tourist information department or office received 900 enquires in January, which was the highest number from all 6 months. We can see that by letter / email reached their lowest point at the end of the time while in person and telephone methods increased significantly in their last three month. I hope there are more tourist that will go to my country Indonesia.
The graphic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us the number of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquires' is British English.
enquires
received by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
. It compares the information
in particular
city during six-period in 2011.

According to the line graphic, there are 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
method that were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the all 3 methods that were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
had a significant increase with in person
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquires' is British English.
enquires
was the most common choice among 3 option in this six-month period.

We can
Possible spelling mistake found.
asumme
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
information department or office received 900
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquires' is British English.
enquires
in January, which was the highest number from all 6 months.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
We
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that by letter / email reached their lowest point at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the time while in person and telephone methods increased
significantly
in their last three
Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: "months".
month
. I hope there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
that will go to my country Indonesia.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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