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The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. BrVd
The line chart spectacles the number of enquiries received by the tourist information in one city over six month periods from January to Juny in 2011. First of all, lets us look the data arrange in the chart of the six month spans. In person, 450 inquires in January detected, and then the second month in February, the inquires individual grows up to 600 inquires. Go to the march, we can see the inquired continues rise to 800 inquires. Then in april, almost double levelled up to 1350 inquires. Next month in May, the inquires by human elevated again to 1550 inquires. And the last month in Juny, the inquires upgraded again to 1900 inquires. So, we can see that inquires by somebody was jumped over six months era. Next to the inquires by letter or email, in January, 750 inquired recognize. The next month in February, the inquires by online was degraded to 650 inquires. Go onto March, we can see that the inquires is decreased again to 630. In April, almost double dropped to 550 inquires. Change to the May, seen a declined again to 350 inquires. And the last month is Juny, the inquires noticed was no changes and still in 350 inquires. Spin to the inquires by telephone, In January, 900 inquiries catched, and next to the February, the inquires get down to 800. During march, the inquires by telephone grows again to 1000 inquires. Then in April, the inquires was stagnant in 1000 inquires. In may, almost double levelled up to 1400 inquires. The last month, we can see the inquires grows again to 1600.
The line chart spectacles the number of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
received by the tourist information in one city over six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
periods from January to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Juny
in 2011.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
us look the data arrange in the chart of the six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
spans. In person, 450
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
in January detected, and then the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
in February, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
individual grows up to 600
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
. Go to the march, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the inquired continues rise to 800
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
. Then in
Possible spelling mistake found.
april
, almost double levelled up to 1350
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
.
Next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
in May, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
by human elevated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
again
to 1550
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
. And the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Juny
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
upgraded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
again
to 1900
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
by somebody
was jumped
over six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
era.

Next
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
by letter or email, in
When specifying a month and year, the comma is unnecessary: "January 750".
January, 750
inquired recognize. The
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
in February, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
by online
was degraded
to 650
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
. Go onto March, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
is decreased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
again
to 630. In April, almost double dropped to 550
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
to the May,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a declined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
again
to 350
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
. And the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Juny
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
noticed was no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and
still
in 350 inquires.

Spin to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
by telephone, In
When specifying a month and year, the comma is unnecessary: "January 900".
January, 900
Do not mix variants of the same word ('inquiry' and 'enquiry') within a single text.
inquiries
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "caught", the past tense form of the verb 'catch'?
catched
, and
next
to the February, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
down to 800. During
The month "March" needs to be capitalized.
march
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
by telephone grows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
again
to 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
. Then in April, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
was stagnant in 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
. In
The month "May" needs to be capitalized.
may
, almost double levelled up to 1400
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
. The last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inquires
grows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
again
to 1600.

IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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