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The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. PQ0g
The line graph above illustrates the number of correspondences that Tourist Information Office received in a city for around six-month time period in 2011. This essay will summarize the information that is given on this line chart. The numbers of enquiries that was received in person continous to climb up from January until June 2011. On the first month of 2011, there are about 400 responses and it increased steadily for 100 responses in February and March. On the next month, the number significantly rose from 800 respondents to over 1300 respondents. On May, it grew up to 1600 enquirers. In the last period, the number significantly peaked making enquiries in person the highest compare to the other category. For correspondence that sent by letters/emails, it tends to decline steadily from January to February and between March until May. Meanwhile, the number of respondents that use letters/emails from February until March and May to June remained the same. Last but not least, the data for respondents that use telephones to talk about their problems have a mix trends. From January until the next month, it dropped slightly while it jumped up again in March. On the meantime, the number continues to be steady between March and April. The trend then spike up in May and went even higher on June 2011.
The line graph above illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of correspondences that Tourist Information Office received in a city for around six-month time period in 2011. This essay will summarize the information
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
on this line chart.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
that
was received
in person
Possible spelling mistake found.
continous
to climb up from January until June 2011. On the
first
month of 2011, there are about 400 responses and it increased
steadily
for 100 responses in February and March. On the
next
month, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
significantly
rose from 800
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respondents
to over 1300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respondents
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
On
May, it grew up to 1600 enquirers. In the last period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
significantly
peaked making
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
in person the highest compare to the other category.

For correspondence that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
by letters/emails, it tends to decline
steadily
from January to February and between March until May. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respondents
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
letters/emails from February until March and May to June remained the same.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the data for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respondents
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
telephones to talk about their problems have a mix trends. From January until the
next
month, it dropped
slightly
while it jumped up again in March. On the meantime, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
continues to be steady between March and April. The trend then spike up in May and went even higher on June 2011.

IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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