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The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Barnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Barnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. rjWl
This line chart depicts How many books which were read by both genders at Burnaby Public Library during four years from 2011 to 2014. It is clear from the graph that the rate of reading books had increased during the period. Men read nearly 3000 books in 2011, which was much lower than women’s. The next year the rate increased gradually. But then, the number of books read by men increased dramatically during the last years. Accounting an incensement of six thousand books per year till it reached 16000 books in 2014. Women read two thousand books more than men in 2011. Then, for 2012 and 2013, the figure increased smoothly till the number was the same as for men’s. Surprisingly, the rate fall to 8000 in 2014 before it had reached 10000 the year before. To sum up, we could say that generally male read more books than female during the period of four years.
This line chart depicts How
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many
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books
which were
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read
by both genders at
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Burnaby
Public Library during four years from 2011 to 2014. It is
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clear
from the graph that the rate of reading
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books
had
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increased
during the period.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
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read
nearly
3000
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books
in 2011, which was much lower than women’s. The
next
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year
the rate
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increased
gradually
.
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But
then, the number of
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books
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read
by
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men
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increased
dramatically
during the last years. Accounting an
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incensement
of six thousand
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books
per
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year
till it reached 16000
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books
in 2014.

Women
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read
two thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in 2011. Then, for 2012 and 2013, the figure
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increased
smoothly
till the number was the same as for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s.
Surprisingly
, the rate fall to 8000 in 2014
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before
it had reached 10000 the
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year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

To sum up, we could say that
generally
male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
than female during the period of four years.

IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Barnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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