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The graph below shows the foreign visitors who visited the UK for different purposes

The graph below shows the foreign visitors who visited the UK for different purposes WgNmb
The graph illustrates the number of foreign visitors, who visited the United Kingdom for business, holiday and for meeting friends and relatives during the period from 1989 to 2009. The data has been calibrated in millions. Overall, it can clearly be seen that the number of visitors for holiday purpose was higher than business and meeting friend in all the initial and last year. Morespecifically speak, the United Kingdom counted 6. 5 million foreign visitors for holiday purpose in 1989. Then volume of visitors gradually increased to 9 million in between 1994 to 1999. Secondly, 5 million overseas visitors landed the UK for business in the initial year. After that the number gradually fluctuated during the period from 1990 to 1999. Then the volume of visitors constantly increased to 8 million toll 2009. Thirdly, the Uk saw 3 million visitors visited for socializing purpose and that was the least number of visitors in 1989. It reached 7 million in the last year.
The graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, who visited the United Kingdom for business, holiday and for meeting friends and relatives during the period from 1989 to 2009. The data has
been calibrated
in millions.

Overall
, it can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
for holiday purpose was higher than business and meeting friend in all the initial and last year.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Morespecifically
speak, the United Kingdom counted 6. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
for holiday purpose in 1989. Then volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
gradually
increased to 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1994 and 1999".
between 1994 to 1999
.
Secondly
, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
landed the UK for business in the initial year.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
gradually
fluctuated during the period from 1990 to 1999. Then the volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
constantly
increased to 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
toll 2009.
Thirdly
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
visited for socializing purpose and that was the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in 1989. It reached 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the last year.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the foreign visitors who visited the UK for different purposes

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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