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the graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000

the graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000 EAd3
The bar chart compares the types of transportation that used by people to go to and from their workplaces in a European City in three different years: 1960, 1980, and 2000. Overall, people who used car for commuting rose significantly from year to year while people using bus showed a substantial decrease. Furthermore, the number of people who took the train and tube in the same city experienced a fluctuate figure during the period given. Turning to details, initially most people in the city used to commute with bus, with the figures of nearly 40 percent and followed by tube in the second place with above 25 percent in 1960. Meanwhile, the train and the car took the smallest figure, 18 percent and 7 percent, respectively. Over the next 20 years, train and bus became the highest of transportation systems that people used as their mode of office transportation with the same figure of 27 percent. In the same year, the popularity of car climbed considerably with about 23 percent, although not as much as the train and bus that ranked first, while the tube being the least used mode of transport with about 21 percent. Subsequently, in 2000, there were still an extensive growth in the figures of people who used car as their transportation with more than 30 percent. The same thing happened with tube that experienced a moderate increase with 25 percent in the same year. In contrast, the train and the bus seemed to lost its appeal as mode of transport with roughly 21 percent and 15 percent, respectively.
The bar chart compares the types of
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transportation
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
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people
to go to and from their workplaces in a European City in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years: 1960, 1980, and 2000.

Overall
,
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
for commuting rose
significantly
from
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year
to
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year
while
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people
using bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a substantial decrease.
Furthermore
, the number of
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people
who took the
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train
and
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tube
in the same city experienced
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'fluctuate' is correct. If 'fluctuate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a fluctuate
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figure
during the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

Turning to
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details
,
initially
most
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people
in the city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to commute with bus, with the
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figures
of
nearly
40
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percent
and followed by
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tube
in the second place with above 25
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percent
in 1960. Meanwhile, the
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train
and the
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car
took the smallest
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figure
, 18
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percent
and 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
,
respectively
. Over the
next
20 years,
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train
and bus became the highest of
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transportation
systems that
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as their mode of office
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transportation
with the same
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figure
of 27
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percent
. In the same
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year
, the popularity of
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car
climbed
considerably
with about 23
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percent
, although not as much as the
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train
and bus that ranked
first
, while the
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tube
being the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
mode of transport with about 21 percent.

Subsequently
, in 2000, there were
still
an extensive growth in the
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figures
of
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
as their
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transportation
with more than 30
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percent
. The same thing happened with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tube
that experienced a moderate increase with 25
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percent
in the same
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year
.
In contrast
, the
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train
and the bus seemed to lost its appeal as mode of transport with roughly 21
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percent
and 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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