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THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE CONSUMPTION OF 3 SPREADS FROM 1981 TO 2007.

THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE CONSUMPTION OF 3 SPREADS FROM 1981 TO 2007. LLY86
THE GIVEN LINE CHART ILLUSTRATED THE AMOUNT OF THREE KIND OF SPREADS (MARGARINE, LOW FAT AND BUTTER), WHICH WERE CONSUMED IN CONSUMED OVER 26 YEARS PERIOD FROM 1981 TO 2007. OVERALL, LOW FAT AND BUTTER SHOW SIMILAR IDOWNWARDS TREND IN GIVEN TIME MEANWHILE, MARGARINE INCLINES. BUTTER IS THE HIGHEST CONSUMED SPREAD. IT CAN BE CLEARLY SEEN THAT, IN BEGINNING THE BUTTER IS ACCOUNTED FOR AROUND 140 GRAMS, IT RISES TILL 1986 WITH THE PEAK POINT OF 160 GRAMS AND AND IT FALLS DRASCTICALLY TILL THE LAST YEAR MEANWHILE, MARGARINE BEGINS WITH MERELY ABOVE 80 GRAMS, IT SLIGHTLY DECLINE IN 1986 WITH 78 GRAMS CONSUMPTION AND IT INCLINE TILL 1991 THEN REMAIN CONSTANT FOR 10 YEARS. AFTERTHAT, IT PLUMMET UNTIL LAST SPAN WITH THE LOWEST POINT OF 40 GRAMS. AS FAR AS LOW FAT IS CONCERNED, IT COMMENCE IN 1996 WITH 10 GRAMS OF CONSUMPTION, SKYROCKET IN NEXT FIVE YEARS MORE THAN 80 GRAMS CONSUMPTION AND IT NEGLIGIBLY DROPS IN 2007 WITH 70 GRAMS CONSUMED.
THE
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GIVEN
LINE CHART ILLUSTRATED THE AMOUNT OF THREE KIND OF SPREADS (MARGARINE, LOW
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
FAT
AND
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BUTTER)
, WHICH WERE
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CONSUMED
IN
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CONSUMED
OVER 26 YEARS PERIOD FROM 1981 TO 2007.

OVERALL
, LOW
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
FAT
AND
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BUTTER
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOW
SIMILAR
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IDOWNWARDS
TREND IN
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GIVEN
TIME MEANWHILE, MARGARINE INCLINES.
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BUTTER
IS THE HIGHEST
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CONSUMED
SPREAD.

IT CAN BE
CLEARLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
THAT, IN BEGINNING THE
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BUTTER
IS ACCOUNTED
FOR AROUND 140
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GRAMS
, IT RISES TILL 1986 WITH THE PEAK POINT OF 160
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GRAMS
Possible typo: you repeated a word
AND AND
IT FALLS
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DRASCTICALLY
TILL THE LAST
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YEAR
MEANWHILE, MARGARINE
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BEGINS
WITH
MERELY
ABOVE 80
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GRAMS
, IT
SLIGHTLY
DECLINE IN 1986 WITH 78
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GRAMS
CONSUMPTION AND IT INCLINE TILL 1991 THEN REMAIN CONSTANT FOR 10 YEARS.
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AFTERTHAT
, IT PLUMMET UNTIL LAST SPAN WITH THE LOWEST POINT OF 40 GRAMS.

AS FAR AS LOW
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FAT
IS CONCERNED
, IT COMMENCE IN 1996 WITH 10
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GRAMS
OF CONSUMPTION, SKYROCKET IN
NEXT
FIVE YEARS MORE THAN 80
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GRAMS
CONSUMPTION AND IT
NEGLIGIBLY
DROPS IN 2007 WITH 70
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GRAMS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CONSUMED
.

IELTS academic THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE CONSUMPTION OF 3 SPREADS FROM 1981 TO 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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