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The graph below shows percentages of people in cities in four different countries between 1970 and 2030.

The graph below shows percentages of people in cities in four different countries between 1970 and 2030. LLBx8
The line graph describes the proportion of people living in city areas in four different countries between 1970 and 2030. It is obvious that the degree of urbanisation has been expanding overall with time going by whatever the country is. Besides, in the USA, city population takes the most percentage, compared with the other countries. In 1970, about 60% of the population in The USA lived in city, and the figure of India was 40%. During the following decades, both the two countries saw a consistent growing trend, while the tendency of India was more dramatic. It is predicted that in 2030, the USA will have about 86% city population, a little bit higher than that of India as 85%. In the UK and South Korea, proportion of urban population started from about 20% at 1970. South Korea figure remained stable between 1970 and 1980, then kept growing rapidly in the next 20 years. Especially, it has excelled the number of the UK since 1990, but after 2000, the speed has slowed for decades. On the contrary, the percentage of city population in the UK enhaced slightly from 1990 to 2030, reaching its peak at 40% in 2030 accroding to the prediction.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in city areas in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries between 1970 and 2030.

It is obvious that the degree of
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
has been expanding
overall
with time going by whatever the country is.
Besides
, in the USA, city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
takes the most percentage, compared with the other countries.

In 1970, about 60% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in The USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in city, and the figure of India was 40%. During the following decades, both the two countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a consistent growing trend, while the tendency of India was more dramatic. It
is predicted
that in 2030, the USA will have about 86% city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
higher than that of India as 85%.

In the UK and South Korea, proportion of urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from about 20% at 1970. South Korea figure remained stable between 1970 and 1980, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
growing
rapidly
in the
next
20 years.
Especially
, it has excelled the number of the UK since 1990,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after 2000, the speed has slowed for decades.
On the contrary
, the percentage of city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in the UK
Possible spelling mistake found.
enhaced
slightly
from 1990 to 2030, reaching its peak at 40% in 2030
Possible spelling mistake found.
accroding
to the prediction.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows percentages of people in cities in four different countries between 1970 and 2030.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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