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Advantages of technology

Advantages of technology pa5qy
In this contemporary era, technology is every knock and corner. A war of words has been going on between two groups of people on weather it has benefits or drawbacks. According to my perspective it has immensely pros rather than cons and I will elaborate my opinion in forthcoming paragraphs. Apparently, various reasons are associated with its constructive behaviour. Predominately, making individuals life very convenient is the biggest positive point of technology such as computers, now people do not need to remember plenty of things pertaining to their professional work or academic field. They can easily make their assignments and presentations. Apart from that, world has become a village with the help of technology, so masses easily make connect with their kith and kins by mobile phones. Moreover, they use technology for developing their communication skills through various social applications for instance, Facebook, WhatsApp. Furthermore, video games is the best way to entertainment specially for youngsters. For example, in lockdown video games are provided to children by their parents for the purpose of corona safety. Due to this, young ones stayed their homes rather than playing outside. Lastly, big multiplexers are also part of this discovery which are best entertainment source of individual in their leisure time. They get a chance to spend the time with their family members or relatives. To recapitulate, automation has mix bag of advantages and disadvantages on the contrary I think its benefits are higher than drawback.
In this contemporary era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is every knock and corner. A war of words has been going on between two groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on weather it has benefits or drawbacks. According to my perspective it has
immensely
pros
rather
than cons and I will elaborate my opinion in forthcoming paragraphs.

Apparently
, various reasons
are associated
with its constructive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Predominately
, making individuals life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient is the biggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
such as computers,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not need to remember
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of things pertaining to their professional work or academic field. They can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their assignments and presentations. Apart from that, world has become a village with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
masses
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
connect with their kith and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "kin", the plural form of the noun 'kin'?
kins
by mobile phones.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for developing their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
through various social applications
for instance
, Facebook, WhatsApp.
Furthermore
, video games is the best way to entertainment
specially
for youngsters.
For example
, in lockdown video games
are provided
to children by their parents for the purpose of corona safety. Due to this, young ones stayed their homes
rather
than playing outside.
Lastly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
multiplexers are
also
part of this discovery which
A determiner is probably missing here: "are the best".
are best
entertainment source of individual in their leisure time. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to spend the time with their family members or relatives. To recapitulate, automation has mix bag of advantages and disadvantages
on the contrary
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
its benefits are higher than drawback.
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IELTS academic Advantages of technology

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
242 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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