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Pie charts show the percentage of vehicle exports of one company in 1996, 2006, and 2016

Pie charts show the percentage of vehicle exports of one company in 1996, 2006, and 2016 RwkXV
The two pie charts compare the expenses of US residents in two different years in seven categories from 1966 to 1996. The data is calibrated in percentage. Overall, expenses on cars, restaurant and computers revealed positive trend, however, expenses on remaining items showed decrease in given period. It is clear that the largest ratio of American citizens spending went on foods and cars. On the other hand, computer and books had the lowest percentage in the chart in 1966 and 1996 respectively. However, the percentage for car rose to nearly double at 45% in 1996. Whereas, the proportion of spending on food fell from 44% in 1966 to only 14% in 1996. The drastic change was seen for computers it stood at only one percent in 1966 but reached at 10% in 1996. There was a two fold increase on restaurant spending by American citizens, from 7% in 1966 to 14% in 1996. Whereas, a significant decrease was seen for books purchasing. Surprisingly, over a period there was no marked change in the ratio of petrol and furnitur
The two pie charts compare the expenses of US residents in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years in seven categories from 1966 to 1996. The data
is calibrated
in percentage.

Overall
, expenses on cars, restaurant and computers revealed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend,
however
, expenses on remaining items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
decrease in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the largest ratio of American citizens spending went on foods and cars.
On the other hand
, computer and books had the lowest percentage in the chart in 1966 and 1996
respectively
.
However
, the percentage for car rose to
nearly
double at 45% in 1996.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the proportion of spending on food fell from 44% in 1966 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
14% in 1996.

The drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for computers it stood at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one percent in 1966
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
reached at 10% in 1996. There was a
The adjective or adverb 'twofold' needs to be written as one word.
two fold
increase on restaurant spending by American citizens, from 7% in 1966 to 14% in 1996. Whereas, a significant decrease was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for books purchasing.
Surprisingly
, over a period there was no marked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the ratio of petrol and
Possible spelling mistake found.
furnitur
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IELTS academic Pie charts show the percentage of vehicle exports of one company in 1996, 2006, and 2016

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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