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comparing transformation of a village

comparing transformation of a village YRBoB
The map shows a village called pancha in 2005 and 2015. It illustrates the changes, which Pancha village has undergone through 10years Comparing two pictures, there are many significant transformations, which are noticeable to be mentioned. First, public transportation seems to be developed completely. Although in 2005, the main road was not suitable to use, in 2015 it has been constructed and also driving signs has been installed. On the other hand, the electricity has been available for local people and most people use satellite as well. By establishing station, dweller have access to communication much easier than 10 years ago. Furthermore, the education facility is better than 2005. There are both primary and secondary school for children whereas, in 2005 there were only possible, to go to primary school; this also can be seen as the result of population growth. The later has also affected the number of market in the village which comparing to 2005 has benn extended. Overall, the village facilities for people living in the village are far better than 10 years ago.
The map
shows
a
village
called
pancha
in 2005 and 2015. It illustrates the
changes
, which
Pancha
village
has undergone through 10years

Comparing two pictures, there are
many
significant transformations, which are noticeable to
be mentioned
.
First
, public transportation seems to
be developed
completely. Although in 2005, the main road was not suitable to
use
, in 2015 it has
been constructed
and
also
driving signs has
been installed
.

On the other hand
, the electricity has been available for local
people
and most
people
use
satellite
as well
. By establishing station, dweller have access to communication much easier than 10 years ago.

Furthermore
, the education facility is better than 2005. There are both primary and secondary school for children whereas, in 2005 there were
only
possible, to go to primary school; this
also
can be
seen
as the result of population growth. The
later
has
also
affected
the number of market in the
village
which comparing to 2005 has
benn
extended.

Overall
, the
village
facilities for
people
living in the
village
are far better than 10 years ago.
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IELTS academic comparing transformation of a village

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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