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The graph below shows in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic

The graph below shows in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic XEWAY
The line graph gives information about changing trends of personal use CD players, Mobile phone, Home computer and Internet access in the UK households from 1996 to 2003. Overall, in the 1996 the most popular access to modern technology was CD players and it still continued to be the most popular in the 2003 on the contrary people began to use more often Mobile phone. Influence of Mobile phones on access to modern technology has changed from 19 to 70 percent and almost the same situation with the Internet within 7 years. On the one hand, the quantity of users who choose Home computer and CD players were staidly growing and it has increased by 20 percent over the period shown in the graph. On the other hand, although in the 1996 Mobile phones were not popular with 19 percent, already in 1999 they were equal to the number of users and in the 2003 it were between CD player and Home computer.
The line graph gives information about changing trends of personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
CD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
, Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, Home computer and Internet access in the UK households from 1996 to 2003.

Overall
, in the 1996 the most popular access to modern technology was CD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
and it
still
continued to be the most popular in the 2003
on the contrary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
began to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. Influence of Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
on access to modern technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from 19 to 70 percent and almost the same situation with the Internet within 7 years.

On the one hand, the quantity of users who choose Home computer and CD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
were
staidly
growing and it has increased by 20 percent over the period shown in the graph.

On the other hand
, although in the 1996 Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
were not popular with 19 percent, already in 1999 they were equal to the number of users and in the 2003 it were between CD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
and Home computer.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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