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Total population compared with the population of 75+

Total population compared with the population of 75+ bDBpB
The table represents the total population and the percentage of the sample group, who are above the age of 75 in the span of 55 years. Overall, throughout the 55 years of the data provided. It is evident that the population grew by 20 million, along with the population of the elderly, which is 7 million in the course of 55 years. As we can see, in the year 2015 to 2020 there was an increase in the number by 3 million, however, the elderly population grew slightly less than 1 %. Similarly in the years 2020, 2025, and 2050, there was no significant growth in the population of the elderly. On the other hand, we can see a decline in the percentage of senior citizens by 0. 85 per cent. However, we see a surge in the year 2070 by an astounding growth of 2. 06 % in the span of 20 years.
The table represents the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and the percentage of the sample group, who are above the age of 75 in the span of 55 years.

Overall
, throughout the 55 years of the data provided. It is evident that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
grew by 20 million, along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the elderly, which is 7 million in the course of 55 years.

As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2015 to 2020 there was an increase in the number by 3 million,
however
, the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
grew
slightly
less than 1 %.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
in the years 2020, 2025, and 2050, there was no significant growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the elderly.

On the other hand
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a decline in the percentage of senior citizens by 0. 85 per cent.
However
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a surge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2070 by an astounding growth of 2. 06 % in the span of 20 years.
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IELTS academic Total population compared with the population of 75+

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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