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Total number of minutes of telephone calls in Finland

Total number of minutes of telephone calls in Finland gG20D
The bar graph provides data on the amount of time spent making phone calls in Finland between 1995 and 2004. The information is expressed in number of minutes (in millions) involving three devices namely local landline, national and international landline, and mobiles. Overall, the longest time spent on telephone calls recorded were made using local landline which displayed a rising pattern before it declined to just below its initial figure at the end of the survey. While both National and International landline and Mobile calls reported the same upward trend, the latter remained the least used device. In 1995, time allotted for telephone calls in Finland with the use of local landline was cited at 12, 000 minutes (in millions) which was twice higher than the number of calls from National and International landline. It continued a steady climb and reached its peak in the 20th century, adding around 5000 more minutes in 2001 to its starting point. After a year, its number slightly receded and further moved downwards in 2004 to marginally lower than its former record. As for conversations through national and international landline, time spent was three times greater than mobile phones. Its number gradually went up reaching half of the figure reported for local landline calls in 2001 at 8, 000 minutes (in millions) and further decreasing its gap with the latter with 2, 000 more minutes added to its final count. While use of mobile phones was the least popular in 1995, its figure jumped fourfold only after two years and maintained its leap reaching nearly 8, 000 minutes, which was half of the figure of nationwide and worldwide calls in 2000. Three years later, the time for mobile calls doubled and even narrowed the difference with the other two devices, nevertheless it still stayed on the tail of the others a year later.
The bar graph provides data on the amount of
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time
spent making phone
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calls
in Finland between 1995 and 2004. The information
is expressed
in
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number
of minutes (in millions) involving three devices
namely
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local
landline,
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national
and
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international
landline, and mobiles.

Overall
, the longest
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time
spent on telephone
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calls
recorded
were made
using
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local
landline which displayed a rising pattern
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before
it declined to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below its initial
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figure
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the survey. While both
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National
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
landline and Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
reported the same upward trend, the latter remained the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
device.

In 1995,
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time
allotted for telephone
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calls
in Finland with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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local
landline
was cited
at 12, 000 minutes (in millions) which was twice higher than the
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number
of
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calls
from
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National
and
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International
landline. It continued a steady climb and reached its peak in the 20th century, adding around 5000 more minutes in 2001 to its starting point. After a
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year
, its
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number
slightly
receded and
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
downwards in 2004 to
marginally
lower than its former record.

As for conversations through
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national
and
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international
landline,
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time
spent was three
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times
greater than mobile phones. Its
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number
gradually
went up reaching half of the
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figure
reported for
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local
landline
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calls
in 2001 at 8, 000 minutes (in millions) and
further
decreasing its gap with the latter with 2, 000 more minutes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to its final count.

While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile phones was the least popular in 1995, its
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figure
jumped fourfold
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after two years and maintained its leap reaching
nearly
8, 000 minutes, which was half of the
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figure
of nationwide and worldwide
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calls
in 2000. Three years later, the
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time
for mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
doubled and even narrowed the difference with the other two devices,
nevertheless
it
still
stayed on the tail of the others a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
later.
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IELTS academic Total number of minutes of telephone calls in Finland

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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