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The graph below shows how people buy music. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In 2011, CDs had the highest percentage out of all three methods, at about 55%, in comparison with 35% of downloads and 5% of streams. The next 4 years witnessed a downward trend in the proportion of CDs while the figure for streams experienced a rise of about 10%. In the meantime, downloads increased steadily, overtaking CDs in 2013, and reached a peak of over 40% in 2014. From 2014 onwards, a gradual decrease was seen in the sales of downloads and it ended up making up for 30% in 2018. During the same period, the figure for CDs continued its upward trend to reach just over 40% in 2018, after overtaking CDs and downloads in 2016 and 2017 respectively. In contrast, the percentage of CDs witnessed a steady fall to around a quarter of the total music sales at the end of the period.
In 2011,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
had the highest percentage out of all three methods, at about 55%,
in comparison
with 35% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloads
and 5% of streams. The
next
4 years witnessed a downward trend in the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
while the figure for streams experienced a rise of about 10%. In the meantime,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloads
increased
steadily
, overtaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
in 2013, and reached a peak of over 40% in 2014.

From 2014 onwards, a gradual decrease was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the sales of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
downloads and
it ended
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
up making up
for 30% in 2018. During the same period, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
continued its upward trend to reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 40% in 2018, after overtaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloads
in 2016 and 2017
respectively
.
In contrast
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
witnessed a steady fall to around a quarter of the total music sales at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows how people buy music.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph below shows how people buy music. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.