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The graph below shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five year period. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar graph illustrates how individuals spend money on various entertainment sources namely cinema, video, music, publishing, and television between the year 1995 and 2000 in three countries Asia, Europe, and Unites States. Firstly, in asia the most preferred source of enjoyment were television and publishing comprising of three fourth of money spent followed by music. Whereas, the least amount was spent on video and cinema. However, the trend remained the same in the year 2000 but the amount of money spent increased to 110. Similarly, Europe showed similar statistics spending 97 in the year 1995 and 131 in 2000. United States had the highest number of humans spending on entertainment mostly on television and publishing thereafter on music and least preferred forms was again cinema. The maximum money spent was 257 in the year 2000 by people of United Stats while the lowest was in the year 1995 in Asia. Overall, in all the countries during five year span the highest rated form of entertainment was television and publishing with almost same preference. On the other hand, cinema was the lowest rated source of entertainment on which people spent money.
The bar graph illustrates how individuals spend
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money
on various entertainment sources
namely
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cinema
, video, music,
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publishing
, and
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television
between the
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year
1995 and 2000 in three countries Asia, Europe, and Unites States.

Firstly
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
asia
the most preferred source of enjoyment were
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television
and
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publishing
Did you mean “comprising” or “consisting of”?
comprising of
three fourth of
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
followed by music. Whereas, the least amount was
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spent
on video and
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cinema
.
However
, the trend remained the same in the
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year
2000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the amount of
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money
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spent
increased to 110.

Similarly
, Europe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
similar statistics spending 97 in the
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year
1995 and 131 in 2000. United States had the highest number of humans spending on entertainment
mostly
on
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television
and
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publishing
thereafter on music and least preferred forms was again
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cinema
. The maximum
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
was 257 in the
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year
2000 by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of United Stats while the lowest was in the
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year
1995 in Asia.

Overall
, in all the countries during five
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year
Possible agreement error. The noun ‘span’ seems to be countable, so consider using: “spans”.
span
the highest rated form of entertainment was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
publishing
with almost same preference.
On the other hand
,
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cinema
was the lowest rated source of entertainment on which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph below shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five year period. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.