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The graph shows the pollution levels in London between 1600 and 2000

THE LINE CHARTS GIVES INFORMATION REGARDING THE POLLUTION RATES IN LONDON OVER 400 YEARS, FROM 1600 to 2000. IT MEASURES THE MICROGRAMS OF SULFUR DIOXIDE AND SMOKE PER CUBIC METRE. AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GIVEN PERIOD THE QUANTITY OF SULPHUR DIOXIDE PRESENT IN A SINGLE CUBIC METER OF AIR WAS A LITTLE MORE THEN ZERO. FROM 1400 TO 1900 THE FIGURES REVEAL A SIGNIFICANT GROWTH IN THE AMOUNT OF SULPHUR DIOXIDE PRESENT IN THE AIR, WICH REACHED THE PEAK OF ALMOST 1000 MICROGRAMS PER CUBIC METRE IN THE FIRST HALF OF ‘800. AFTER THE YEAR 1850 THE LEVEL OF SOLHUR STARTED DECREASING DRAMATICALLY, WITH SOME FLUCTUATIONS BETWEEN 1900 AND 1950, UNTIL IT DROPPED TO ZERO AT THE END OF LAST CENTURY. AS FAR AS SMOKE IS CONCERNED, ACCORDING TO THE GRAPH THE LEVEL OF SMOKE SURGE SLOWLY FROM ZERO, in 1400, TO 500 MICROGRAMS PER CUBIC METRE, IN THE THIRD QUARTER OF 19th CENTURY. AFTER, THE QUANTITY OF SMOKE STARTED FALLING AND WENT DOWN TO ZERO IN 2000. OVERALL, THE SULPHURIC DIOXIDE REPRESENTED THE MAIN SOURCE OF POLLUTION IN LONDON ALL OVER THE THE FOUR CENTURIES. HOWEVER, THE LEVELS OF SULPHUR DIOXIDE AND SMOKE FOLLOWED A SIMIL TREND. THEY HAD A STEADILY RISE FROM 1400 TO THE SECOND HALF OF 19th, TO ALMOST DISAPPEAR AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CURRENT CENTURY.
THE LINE CHARTS GIVES INFORMATION REGARDING THE POLLUTION RATES IN LONDON OVER 400 YEARS, FROM 1600 to 2000. IT MEASURES THE MICROGRAMS OF SULFUR DIOXIDE AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SMOKE
PER CUBIC
Possible spelling mistake. ‘METRE’ is British English.
METRE
.

AT THE BEGINNING OF THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
PERIOD THE QUANTITY OF
Possible spelling mistake. ‘SULPHUR’ is British English.
SULPHUR
DIOXIDE PRESENT IN A SINGLE CUBIC METER OF AIR WAS A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
LITTLE
MORE
Comparison requires “than”, not ‘then’ nor ‘as’.
THEN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ZERO
. FROM 1400 TO 1900 THE FIGURES REVEAL A SIGNIFICANT GROWTH IN THE AMOUNT OF
Possible spelling mistake. ‘SULPHUR’ is British English.
SULPHUR
DIOXIDE PRESENT IN THE AIR,
Possible spelling mistake found.
WICH
REACHED THE PEAK OF ALMOST 1000 MICROGRAMS PER CUBIC
Possible spelling mistake. ‘METRE’ is British English.
METRE
IN THE
FIRST
HALF OF ‘800.

AFTER THE YEAR 1850 THE LEVEL OF
Possible spelling mistake found.
SOLHUR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STARTED
DECREASING
DRAMATICALLY
, WITH
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
FLUCTUATIONS BETWEEN 1900 AND 1950, UNTIL IT DROPPED TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ZERO
AT THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
OF LAST CENTURY.

AS FAR AS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SMOKE
IS CONCERNED
, ACCORDING TO THE GRAPH THE LEVEL OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SMOKE
SURGE
SLOWLY
FROM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ZERO
, in 1400, TO 500 MICROGRAMS PER CUBIC
Possible spelling mistake. ‘METRE’ is British English.
METRE
, IN THE THIRD QUARTER OF 19th CENTURY. AFTER, THE QUANTITY OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SMOKE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STARTED
FALLING AND WENT DOWN TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ZERO
IN 2000.

OVERALL
, THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
SULPHURIC
DIOXIDE REPRESENTED THE MAIN SOURCE OF POLLUTION IN LONDON ALL OVER
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only “THE” or “THE” is left.
THE THE
FOUR CENTURIES.
HOWEVER
, THE LEVELS OF
Possible spelling mistake. ‘SULPHUR’ is British English.
SULPHUR
DIOXIDE AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SMOKE
FOLLOWED A
Possible spelling mistake found.
SIMIL
TREND. THEY HAD A
STEADILY
RISE FROM 1400 TO THE SECOND HALF OF 19th, TO ALMOST DISAPPEAR AT THE BEGINNING OF THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CURRENT
CENTURY.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the pollution levels in London between 1600 and 2000

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
222 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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