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The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

As it shows in the line graph the statistics on elderly people's leisure time behaviors in the United States over the twenty year period from 1980 to 2010. Overall an upward drift has been experienced in perusing, climbing, observing TV and browsing the web, whereas the theater shows a descending drift. As the given chart shows, from 20 percent within the 1980s to over 80 percent within the 2010s, there was a gigantic rise with no change in climbing Between the 1980s and 2000s, both observing TV and browsing the web relentlessly expanded, on the opposite web surfing began to rise significantly from 15 percent within the 2000s to over 50 percent within the 2010s, compared with the decrease in observing TV in this period. Compared to the planning theater, which experienced a exceptional diminish by 20 percent, the percentage of perusing relentlessly expanded from 1980 to 1990. Attending to the theater increased back within the 1990s, cresting at over 45% within the 2010s whereas perusing quickly declined to 20% within the 2000s some time recently hitting 60% within the 2010s.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
in the line graph the statistics on elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's leisure time behaviors in the United States
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: “twenty-year”
twenty year
period from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
an upward drift has
been experienced
in perusing, climbing, observing TV and browsing the web, whereas the theater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a descending drift.

As the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, from 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
within the 1980s to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
within the 2010s, there was a gigantic rise with no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in climbing Between the 1980s and 2000s, both observing TV and browsing the web
relentlessly
expanded, on the opposite web surfing began to rise
significantly
from 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
within the 2000s to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
within the 2010s, compared with the decrease in observing TV in this period.

Compared to the planning theater, which experienced
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
exceptional diminish by 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, the percentage of perusing
relentlessly
expanded from 1980 to 1990. Attending to the theater increased back within the 1990s, cresting at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
45% within the 2010s whereas perusing
quickly
declined to 20% within the 2000s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time recently hitting 60% within the 2010s.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.