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The table below shows the percentage participation of women in seniormanagement in three companies between 1975 and 2015.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table illustrates the percentage of women in senior management positions in different companies from 1975 to 2015 year. Overall, the number of females in all companies was finally increased through the past 40 years. While Eldan Ltd and Bamforth Ltd experienced steadily increasement, Finsbury Ltd’s percentage value had some fluctuations throughout the entire period. As noticed earlier the number of women in the first two companies has been increasing. Since 1975 where Eldan Ltd had only 3% and Bamforth Ltd had about 9%, with an increase every 5 years of small margin up to 2015 of which 64% and 46%. Turning to Finsbury Ltd, there was inclines and declines every 5 years. From 1975 year where the percentage was 16% to 1980 year with 14% of women and to 15% in 1985 year. In 1990 the number suddenly increased up to 22% and finally dramatically increased to 26% in 2015 year from 20% in 2000 year.
The table illustrates the percentage of women in senior management positions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
from 1975 to 2015 year.

Overall
, the number of females in all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
was
finally
increased through the past 40 years. While
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eldan
Ltd and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bamforth
Ltd experienced
steadily
Possible spelling mistake found.
increasement
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Finsbury
Ltd’s percentage value had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations throughout the entire period.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
noticed earlier the number of women in the
first
two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
has been increasing. Since 1975 where
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eldan
Ltd had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3% and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bamforth
Ltd had about 9%, with an increase every 5 years of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
margin up to 2015 of which 64% and 46%.

Turning to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Finsbury
Ltd,
Did you mean "there were inclines"?
there was inclines
and declines every 5 years. From 1975
It is better to use 'year' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "year when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
year where
the percentage was 16% to 1980
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with 14% of women and to 15% in 1985
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In 1990 the number
suddenly
increased up to 22% and
finally
dramatically
increased to 26% in 2015
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
from 20% in 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic The table below shows the percentage participation of women in seniormanagement in three companies between 1975 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The table below shows the percentage participation of women in seniormanagement in three companies between 1975 and 2015.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.