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The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia

The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia 7DWk
The given line graph illustrating information about the amount number of students which they are study in Australia. Overall, what stands out from the graph is that there were considerable upward trends in the residence of students. While the Malaysia students saw a considerable rise over the period in question. Another interesting point is that Malaysia was the most popular in 1982, but in 1990. Indonesia studentsare much more than the others. Looking at the details, as regards Singapore, education started rise in 1988, than the was rise sharply six years, at which point it levelled off at just under 20 percentage student in 2000. If we look at Hong Kong, the trends was similar. Having remainded stable at approximately in 1982. There was than fluctuation between 1988 and 2000. By contrast, the number of students in Indonesia went in the opposite direction. Education system jump sharply until 1998. After that, despite falling plummet in 2000, the figure that levelled off in the last two years.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrating information about the amount number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which they are study in Australia.
Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that there were considerable upward trends in the residence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the Malaysia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a considerable rise over the period in question. Another interesting point is that Malaysia was the most popular in 1982,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 1990. Indonesia
Possible spelling mistake found.
studentsare
much more than the others. Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, as regards Singapore, education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
rise in 1988, than the was rise
sharply
six years, at which point it levelled off at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 20 percentage
Possible agreement error. The noun 'student' seems to be countable, so consider using: "students".
student
in 2000. If we look at Hong Kong, the trends was similar. Having
Possible spelling mistake found.
remainded
stable at approximately in 1982. There was than fluctuation between 1988 and 2000. By contrast, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Indonesia went in the opposite direction. Education system jump
sharply
until 1998. After that, despite falling plummet in 2000, the figure that levelled off in the last two years.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
166 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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