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The graph below shows consumption of fish and different meet in a European country

The graph below shows consumption of fish and different meet in a European country VYYe6
The graph shows consumption of fish and some meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004Overall the graph situated in every years due to consumption of needs however beef and lamb or following same pattern additional e consumption of chicken increase and intake of fish remained constantFirst of all around 150 gram per person consume mud lamp in the year 1979 in the year 1894 around 110 g lamp consumed by person in European country from the year 1989 onwards to till 2004 the graft was steadily decrease into 60. additional consumption of beef started from highest point around 220 and 213 gram beef consumed by people in the year 1984. however, at the end of the year the graph decline into 100Only the utilisation of chicken was entirely different from lamp and beef consumption of chicken started at 130 in the year 1979 however 1989 onwards the graph show upward trend around 250 gram chicken in take by people in the year 2004 final one is fish utilisation of fish started at 60 gram per person in the year 1979. Til 2004 the graph remain constant.
The
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graph
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shows
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consumption
of fish and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004Overall the
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graph
situated in every years due to
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consumption
of needs
however
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beef
and lamb or following same pattern additional e
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of chicken increase and intake of fish remained
Possible spelling mistake found.
constantFirst
of all
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around
150
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
per person consume mud lamp in the
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year
1979 in the
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year
1894
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around
110 g lamp consumed by person in European country from the
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year
1989 onwards to till 2004 the graft was
steadily
Consider using a past participle here: "decreased".
decrease
into 60.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
additional
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consumption
of
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beef
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
point
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around
220 and 213
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gram
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beef
consumed by
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people
in the
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year
1984.
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however
, at the
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end
of the
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year
the
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graph
decline into
100Only
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of chicken was
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from lamp and
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beef
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of chicken
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 130 in the
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year
1979
however
1989 onwards the
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graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
upward trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
250
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gram
chicken in take by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
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year
2004 final one is fish
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of fish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 60
Possible agreement error. The noun 'gram' seems to be countable, so consider using: "grams".
gram
per person in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1979. Til 2004 the
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graph
remain constant.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows consumption of fish and different meet in a European country

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
188 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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