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pie chart - compare energy sources in 2 years

pie chart - compare energy sources in 2 years KyyN0
The pie chart compares the proportion of five different energy sources including oil, natural gas, coal, hydroelectric power, and nuclear power for the USA in 1980 and 1990. Overall, oil and natural gas accounted for the major sources of energy production in both years. However, over a decade, the usage of these two energy sources reduced slightly while there was an increase in production from coal and nuclear power. In terms of the main energy sources, oil was the most common source of energy production, which made up 42% in 1980. Although the amount of energy produced by oil declined by 9% to a third (33%), this was still the most significant energy source for the USA in 1990. This trend of usage was also similar to the one of natural gas. In 1980, natural gas was the second major source of energy production, comprised of 26%, and this, then slightly dropped to 25% in 1990. In regard to other less common sources of energy, the pie chart showed upward trend in using nuclear power and coal whereas the proportion of hydroelectric power remained the same at 5% over ten-year period. As such, the amount of energy generated by nuclear power doubled from 5% in 1980 to 10% in 1990. Similarly, there was a 4% rise in energy from coal to reach 27% in the second year.
The pie chart compares the proportion of five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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energy
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sources
including
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oil
,
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natural
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gas
, coal, hydroelectric
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power
, and nuclear
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power
for the USA in 1980 and 1990.

Overall
,
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oil
and
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natural
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gas
accounted for the major
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sources
of
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
in both years.
However
, over a decade, the usage of these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
slightly
while there was an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
from coal and nuclear power.

In terms of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
,
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oil
was the most common
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source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
, which made up 42% in 1980. Although the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
produced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
declined by 9% to a third (33%), this was
still
the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
for the USA in 1990. This trend of usage was
also
similar to the one of
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natural
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gas
. In 1980,
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natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
was the second major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
, comprised of 26%, and this, then
slightly
dropped to 25% in 1990.

In regard to other less common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
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energy
, the pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
upward trend in using nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
and coal whereas the proportion of hydroelectric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
remained the same at 5% over ten-year period. As such, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
generated by nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
doubled from 5% in 1980 to 10% in 1990.
Similarly
, there was a 4% rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
from coal to reach 27% in the second year.
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IELTS academic pie chart - compare energy sources in 2 years

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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