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The graph below presents the employment patterns in the USA between 1930 and 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words v.1

The graph below presents the employment patterns in the USA between 1930 and 2010
The line graph compares the percentages of employment in a variety of sectors over the 80-year period in the USA. It is clear the agricultural livelihood were far the most popular job among other areas in 1930. By contrast, technical jobs were taken by the least number of people in the same year. However, the figures for all the other sectors overtook those for agricultural jobs by 2010. In 1930, most Americans were working in the field of agriculture, at nearly 80%, while other sectors (industrial, sales and office, technical, and other services) were the least popular jobs, at below 20%. By 1990, the figure for farming, fishing and foresting gradually dropped to around 30%, which was the same percentage as the figure for industrial. The percentages of each technicians and sales people increased to just below 20% by the same year, while the figure for other services remained relatively stable, at between 10% and 16% over the whole 80-year period. In 2010, the proportion of farmers reached its lowest figure, at 3%. All other remaining sectors saw an upward trend, at between 20% and nearly 40%, with the exception of the figure for other services in the same period.
The line graph compares the percentages of employment in a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
80-year
period in the USA.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the agricultural livelihood were far the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas in 1930. By contrast, technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
were taken
by the least number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
overtook those for agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
by 2010.

In 1930, most Americans were working in the field of agriculture, at
nearly
80%, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
(industrial, sales and office, technical, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
services) were the least popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, at below 20%. By 1990, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for farming, fishing and foresting
gradually
dropped to around 30%, which was the same percentage as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for industrial. The percentages of each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "technician"?
technicians
and sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
increased to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 20% by the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
services remained
relatively
stable, at between 10% and 16% over the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
80-year
period.

In 2010, the proportion of farmers reached its lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
, at 3%. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an upward trend, at between 20% and
nearly
40%,
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
services in the same period.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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Edward De Waal

IELTS academic The graph below presents the employment patterns in the USA between 1930 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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