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The graph below illustrates the percentage of unemployed women of different eight ages.

The graph below illustrates the percentage of unemployed women of different eight ages. kxM3d
The graph below illustrates the percentage of unemployed women of different eight ages. Overall, what stands out from the trend is that middle-aged women constitute the vast majority of the unemployed population, whereas the employment rate peaks during the youth. Focusing on the first four given ages, 18 has the most unemployed population (%15). Whereas the rate slightly decreases in age 20 and hit %10, the momentum continues to drop for 25-year-old and 30-year-old women to secure a lower unemployment rate. Additionally, The former has the lowest (%5), and the latter saw a marginal fluctuation around %5. Regarding the second four ages provided by the chart, throughout ages of 35 and 45, the rate has rapidly risen to %20 and then followed by a decline to %10 in 55-year-old women, which is the lowest unemployment rate during the ages mentioned earlier. In contrast, the 45-year-old peaks unemployment rate during the whole period.
The graph below illustrates the percentage of unemployed
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women
of
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different
eight ages.

Overall
, what stands out from the trend is that middle-aged
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women
constitute the vast majority of the unemployed population, whereas the employment
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rate
peaks during the youth.

Focusing on the
first
four
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given
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ages
, 18 has the most unemployed population (%15). Whereas the
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rate
slightly
decreases in
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age
20 and hit %10, the momentum continues to drop for 25-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and 30-year-
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old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to secure a lower unemployment
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rate
.
Additionally
, The former has the lowest (%5), and the latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a marginal fluctuation around %5.

Regarding the second four
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ages
provided by the chart, throughout
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ages
of 35 and 45, the
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rate
has
rapidly
risen to %20 and then followed by a decline to %10 in 55-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, which is the lowest unemployment
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rate
during the
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ages
mentioned earlier.
In contrast
, the 45-year-
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old
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "peaks'" or "peak's"?
peaks
unemployment
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rate
during the whole period.
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IELTS academic The graph below illustrates the percentage of unemployed women of different eight ages.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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