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bar chart in four given countries

bar chart in four given countries KV5Aw
The bar chart illustrates the amount that consumers spent on six different goods ( personal stereos, tennis racquets, perturmes, CDs, toys and photographic film) in given countries. Overall, Britain had the highest figure in all six products and surpassed other countries while Germany was by far lower than others. In addition, the amount of goods that people spent on in Britain hold the first position, especially, photographic film took the lead at more than 170 thousand pounds which was 10 higher than France. Besides, France took the second position at the amount spent on CDs, toys and photographic film with the range from 157 to 165 thousand pounds sterling. Not far behind, Italy also had the same figure that people spent on toys in France, at 157 thousand pounds, while perfumes, tennis racquets, and personal stereos was by far lower at 143, 142 and 145 respectively. Germany was the country that had the lowest figure spending overall at the range from 142 to 145 thousand pounds in all six products.
The bar chart illustrates the amount that consumers
spent
on six
different
goods
(
personal stereos, tennis racquets,
perturmes
, CDs, toys and photographic film) in
given
countries.

Overall
, Britain had the highest figure in all six products and surpassed other countries while Germany was by far lower than others.

In addition
, the amount of
goods
that
people
spent
on in Britain hold the
first
position,
especially
, photographic film took the lead at more than 170 thousand pounds which was 10 higher than France.
Besides
, France took the second position at the amount
spent
on CDs, toys and photographic film with the range from 157 to 165 thousand pounds sterling.

Not far behind, Italy
also
had the same figure that
people
spent
on toys in France, at 157 thousand pounds, while perfumes, tennis racquets, and personal stereos was by far lower at 143, 142 and 145
respectively
. Germany was the country that had the lowest figure spending
overall
at the range from 142 to 145 thousand pounds in all six products.
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IELTS academic bar chart in four given countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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