Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian males and females in various age groups doing regularly physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian males and females in various age groups doing regularly physical activity in 2010. mXVmO
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian males and females in various age groups doing regularly physical activity in 2010. Overall, there was fluctuation throughout the ages, while in most of the ages the percentage of women doing sports outraced the men. In terms of men, who were between 15 and 24 did a lot physical activity compared to other same sexs. While it was 52. 8%, from 25 to 44, these figures showed downward trend and they were 42. 2% and 39. 5% respectively. From 45 to 65 and over rate of figures increased moderately and accounted for 43. 1%, 45. 1 and 46. 7% respectively, however none of them outraced men in "15 to 24" which exceeded the proportion of women at the same age. With regard to the women, it started with 47. 7% in "15 to 24". Nevertheless, from "25 to 34" to "45 to 54", these figures rose noticeably and made up 48. 9%, 52. 5% and 53. 3% which overrun the percent of males. Likewise, women in "55 to 64" passed the males by around 7%. Furthermore, the female in " 65 and over" hit low-point and was 47. 1%.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian males and females in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups doing
regularly
physical activity in 2010.
Overall
, there was fluctuation throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
, while in most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
doing sports outraced the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. In terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, who were between 15 and 24 did a
It seems that there's a missing preposition after ''.
lot
physical activity compared to other same
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "sexes", the plural form of the noun 'sex'?
sexs
. While it was 52. 8%, from 25 to 44, these figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
downward
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trend and
they were 42. 2% and 39. 5%
respectively
. From 45 to 65 and over rate of figures increased
moderately
and accounted for 43. 1%, 45. 1 and 46. 7%
respectively
,
however
none of them outraced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
15 to 24
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
which exceeded the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. With regard to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with 47. 7% in
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
15 to 24
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
Nevertheless
, from
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
25 to 34
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
to
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
45 to 54
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, these figures rose
noticeably
and made up 48. 9%, 52. 5% and 53. 3% which overrun the percent of males.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
55 to 64
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
passed the males by around 7%.
Furthermore
, the female in
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
65 and over
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
hit low-point and was 47. 1%.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian males and females in various age groups doing regularly physical activity in 2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
197 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian males and females in various age groups doing regularly physical activity in 2010.